Meet Cyd

“I’m a queer, fat weirdo.
I’m fat and big - happily so! It’s taken a long time to be able to say that and be okay with that. And I’m strong as fuck! It brings me joy that I can be the person I am now.”

Cyd is a new face in the Full Colour Project - although not really; their story is already threaded through so many others in this rich, unfolding yarn. Cyd’s friends Edward, Maddy and Nae were part of Love in Full Colour, 10 years back. And so was Cyd’s brother, Jules.

I was shy about asking Cyd to be part of the series. When we caught up on the phone last Saturday, Cyd asked me: Why did you want me to be involved in this? Well that was easy. Their social media posts were the thing. Cyd’s updates would never fail to catch me off-guard - disarming me in that way that only art can. Cyd’s a born storyteller, artist, provocateur and a gem of a human. I’m so delighted they said yes. But enough from me…

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“I’m autistic, I’ve got ADHD, PMDD, c-PTSD. I’ve got the whole alphabet crammed into my brain; it’s in constant motion. I always wonder if I look queer enough when I go to the shops and everyone always reminds me: yep, you definitely do! Apparently I’m the only one who ever wonders this.

“I’m very artistic and creative in all aspects of my life. I love being able to see art in everything. Despite all the mental health shit that I’ve dealt with, I like that even when I’ve had emotions that are too big for expressing to anyone else, I can paint them, draw them, create something for myself to get it out. And I don’t have to share it! I’ve been revelling in relearning how to create art I don’t have to share with anyone.

I’ve always hated the It Gets Better campaign because I feel like that is so often pushed on queer kids. As a teenager, I didn’t want to hear that from people in their 30s who were famous! Really - it gets different. That’s what I like saying because that isn’t positive or negative. It just gets different.

“I love talking to people! I talk to everyone. I will talk to anyone about anything. You can’t go out with me without me talking with at least one stranger at minimum, either in a situational context or just me complimenting them. Even with all the horrible things that have happened in my life, even when I felt totally and utterly alone and when I have been so heavily isolated due to abuse, if I went out to do my groceries, and stop occasionally and talk to someone - some days that got me through.

“Other days it didn’t… but I’m still here! I didn’t always want to be. I feel like that’s also a taboo thing to talk about, just like – how much I didn’t want to be here sometimes. That’s not a bad thing to talk about though because so many people have that as well, right?

“In my trauma recovery I’ve learnt – you don’t know what you don’t know. The only thing you can do is learn, be accountable and understand that hey yeah, that’s what growth is.”

“I’m a queer, fat weirdo.

**I’m fat and big - happily so! It’s taken a long time to be able to say that and be okay with that. And I’m strong as fuck! It brings me joy that I can be the person I am now.**”

Cyd is a new face in the Full Colour Project - although not really; their story is already threaded through so many others in this rich, unfolding yarn. Cyd’s friends Edward, Maddy and Nae were part of Love in Full Colour, 10 years back. And so was Cyd’s brother, Jules.

“I’m autistic, I’ve got ADHD, PMDD, c-PTSD. I’ve got the whole alphabet crammed into my brain; it’s in constant motion. I always wonder if I look queer enough when I go to the shops and everyone always reminds me: yep, you definitely do! Apparently I’m the only one who ever wonders this.

“Other days it didn’t… but I’m still here! I didn’t always want to be. I feel like that’s also a taboo thing to talk about, just like – how much I didn’t want to be here sometimes. That’s not a bad thing to talk about though because so many people have that as well, right?

“In my trauma recovery I’ve learnt – you don’t know what you don’t know. The only thing you can do is learn, be accountable and understand that hey yeah, that’s what growth is.”

Words and photography by Cyd.

“I’m a queer, fat weirdo.

I’m fat and big - happily so! It’s taken a long time to be able to say that and be okay with that. And I’m strong as fuck! It brings me joy that I can be the person I am now.”

Cyd is a new face in the Full Colour Project - although not really; their story is already threaded through so many others in this rich, unfolding yarn. Cyd’s friends Edward, Maddy and Nae were part of Love in Full Colour, 10 years back. And so was Cyd’s brother, Jules.

“Other days it didn’t… but I’m still here! I didn’t always want to be. I feel like that’s also a taboo thing to talk about, just like – how much I didn’t want to be here sometimes. That’s not a bad thing to talk about though because so many people have that as well, right?

“In my trauma recovery I’ve learnt – you don’t know what you don’t know. The only thing you can do is learn, be accountable and understand that hey yeah, that’s what growth is.”

Words and photography by Cyd.

**I’m fat and big - happily so! It’s taken a long time to be able to say that and be okay with that. And I’m strong as fuck! It brings me joy that I can be the person I am now.**”